LOVE

I have a lot of love for a lot of people in a lot of different ways. Isn't that amazing and wonderful how much love you can feel (giving or recieving)? It's just as devestating, however, as it was wonderful, when someone decides not to love anymore. I used the word decide on purpose. Cause with a true kind of love (romantic or otherwise) sometimes there are days when you have to make a choice to love someone. Cause people suck sometimes or get annoying or maybe it's just YOU who get annoyed, whatever the case is, you're not always gonna feel like loving people. So when that happens you have to make the choice to love them that day. (Example: Say you are not a morning person and you get rudly awakened by a friend, parent, or sibling, and you're really NOT happy. That's when you would have so say, "Ok I really DO love this person" and make that choice to love them even if you're really ticked off. You make the choice. Or maybe someone is having a bad day and needs a phone call, but you're havin a really good time with your buddies in the room and want to get off the phone. That's when you would need to make the choice to love the person and give them your time. See what I mean?)

This post is on love... I'm at a Bible school... who knows what I'm gonna say next??? Yup, I will never grow tired of this passage..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8). Ok so I pretty much suck at love if this is the ultimate model. Especially... well all of it. But in reading it over I just noticed how constant love is... or at least how it's supposed to be. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS. Now we as humans are obviously going to fail on the always and the never fails bit. But if the ultimate model is such a persistent, constant, always kind of love, doesn't that mean that that's the way love is or should be? Constant?

This question and subject has been on my mind ever since I moved here, and I'm finally writing about it. It was brought up each and every day as I was reminded of how much I love my family and friends and Arthur (two different types of love there). It was brought up when my Phsychology book told me (yup, it talks :P) that absence does not make the heart grow fonder, reality is more like out of sight out of mind. And finally it was brought up reccently when I was told that sometimes people fall out of love with each other. I don't believe either of the last two things. I belive that 1) love takes work and 2) sometimes that work involves choosing to love someone.


For example. I love Arthur Karl Fink with all my heart, and he loves me. That's how we know the long distance thing is gonna work, and has been working. Because it's worth it - he is worth it to me. But I can tell you that it takes work. Maybe work is a bad word... because work implies something negative. Let's go with commitment instead. Long distance has SUCKED majorly - I miss Arthur so much... it's a physical pain. But we both agree it's been so good for both of us because each and every day we've been learning how to love each other in a new and deeper way. It's been hard, but we're growing together and becoming stronger because of it.

So that's why I say I don't believe you can just fall out of love with someone, or have them outta sight outta mind. It can't happen if the love is true and real. Because love "always perseveres." I believe people can change so drastically in front of you that they become a stranger to you and how at that point you could not be in love with them anymore (yet still loving them as a person - two differents types of love here). I can see how you could move on from someone you lost and fall in love again with someone else. But, based on everything that I believe about love - that it's constant and is not just a feeling but a choice - I don't believe it can just change suddenly or dissapear. I was talking about this with my dad earlier and we were talking about the "Hollywood" type of love... how that's not really love... it's attraction. You can fall in and out of attraction very easily.. but it's not true and it's not real. It's not love.

I know I'm not an expert on love, and I know I still have a lot to learn about it. I know I will fail many people that I love in loving them. But that's the thing about it... it's always there, even if you don't feel it sometimes or even if you fail it. It's a constant. That's what I believe at least. This topic has just been on my mind the past few months, and just got brought up again, so I finally wrote about it.

I LOVE you all. Till next time.

Excitment =)

After my last slightly morbid post, I decided to update you all on the excitement going on. =) Well first of all, did I tell you all that Mary DEFINITELY met Adam from Owl City??? He's dating a girl at APU who is Mary's cousin's RA. So one day when Mary was hanging out there, he came to visit his girlfriend and she got to meet him! She was completely AMAZING and got me his autograph, even though it was a slightly embarassing moment for her... =P And she thought he was gay when she first met him... haha, it's a funny story. . but yeah, Owl City is my favorite band right now.. after the Coats. Which - more exciting news - I found out that I will definitely be able to attend one of their Christmas shows this year! Go look up Owl City and the Coats and listen - amazing! =)

Well the next exciting news is that Mary and I bought a fish!!! We went to Coldstone and Walmart with our new friends and neighbors in Alpha (who have cars), and we picked out Alfred because he was smiling at us through the tank. He appeared to be happy the first day of being in his new home, but now we think he's anorexic and blind... it's rather sad. So we'll see how long he'll be with us... oh my. Anyways, I've included a picture of him in the post. =) We love him.

The most exciting news right now is that (drum roll please) ARTHUR IS COMING ON THURSDAY TO VISIT ME!!!! I cannot WAIT because it's been WAYYY too long since I've seen him.. it will be 2 months on Sunday since I left. Wow, can you believe that? Time flys down here. I'm so excited to see him... did I mention that it's been too long since we've seen each other???

Alright well I'm off to tackle my English homework, and then head to dinner with HAAMM soon. I love you all! Till next time =)

P.S. 4th bit of exciting news - It's supposed to pour down rain tomorrow!! I've missed that so much! It's been 2 months since I've seen rain!!!

Seaching for some words to say...

Sometimes I feel like there are no words fitting what I feel or want to say. And yet I talk and talk all the time... that's how this weekend has been. Full of long phone conversations.

I was able to talk to Arthur's mom yesterday =) which was great. I really miss her and the rest of his family. I talked to Ian today - we hadn't talked in forever! It was great to catch up with him. I've really just been feeling this need to keep up with the ones that I love... cause you never know what can happen.

Most of this weekend was spent talking to my sweetie Arthur, Shanna (she's amazing and made so much time for me the other day!), Heather, and especially my parents. We got some bad news Friday, and I would love it if you all could be praying for this family I'm gonna share about. My cousin's brother-in-law passed away suddenly... he was just 21 I believe. It's really quite tragic, and everyone is just so heartbroken about it - he was a great guy. Please pray for his family - I can't imagine their saddness.

Everytime I hear about something so sad like this there are just so many thoughts bouncing around in my head. I remember (not like I ever forget them, but remember especially) the loved ones in my life who have passed away. It reminds me of all the loved ones I still have, and to let them know that I love them. It's so easy to get busy and forget to tell people you love them... I don't want to do that. Hearing about something like this is just like a shock back into reality. It gets you thinking.

Alright well... off to homework! I love you all. Till next time...

Love for the little things...

It's been a while, so it's probably time to update you all on what's going on with me over here! =) Well. Lots of exciting things have been happening.

Last weekend I went home with Mary for Saturday and part of Sunday - it was such a great break from the Biola bubble! Don't get me wrong, I love the Biola bubble, I really do. But it is nice to get off campus every once in awhile. The Spagnola's are such sweet people and totally treated me through my time... Mary and I were treated to pedicures, and having a car at our disposal, having a home cooked meal, tie dying, hanging out in the jacuzzi... it was so nice! We went through Mary's closet and found about 10 pairs of shoes (along with other articles of clothing) that we "needed" here at school... =) I think one of the best things though, was just being in a home, not a dorm. I totally miss home... so it was nice, and made me miss my home more, to be in Mary's.

Sunday we went to a different church, but I didn't like it. I mean, different aspects of it were good, but I don't think I would ever go back. I'm so picky when it comes to churches now... that could be a good thing, or maybe bad... maybe it's both. I really like the one I'm going to usually... Grace Evangelical Free. And I like going to a service at 11 and leaving at 12:30. It's nice to just go in and sit down and then leave... the whole focus of church for me is the message, so I can learn more about God, and the worship, so I can praise Him. Ya know? There's nothing else... I'm not going because I feel like I should, or because someone is counting on my being there and serving that day.. Which don't get me wrong, serving at church is so important and good, but not for me right now. I don't have any desire to get involved or "plugged in" here, and that's fine. For now.

Oh! something exciting that I found out the other day as I went off campus... There's definitely a starbucks within 2 blocks of the school. It's amazing. And then, there's also a bank and grocery store within walking distance.. AMAZING! =) I'm so happy about it all... Mary and I went to the store and we got peaches, yogurt, and cream cheese for our bagels. HOOORAYYY!! I was never so happy to go grocery shopping as I was on sunday when we went. Peaches and yogurt. =) I could just about die happy now. ;)

I've definitely been having some "God send" moments through friends and some coffee dates... I'm just so thankful for HAAMM what sweet girls they all are and how we've been getting to know each other... they're friends of mine, not just people I eat with or hang out with because there's nothing else to do... I'm just so glad for them.

I've been missing all my friends back home so much... just as I know I'll miss my friend here when I go home. I'm so glad I can talk to most of them though...like my Jordan girl =)... but it's been SO HARD with Shanna being so far away and not being able to call her when I want or need to. =( But I'm so glad she's in Australia and I'm SO PROUD OF HER for all she's learning and becoming. She's amazing. I will be so glad when we're both in the same state again though! Read her blog - you will be blessed by it and by her openess to what God's doing in her... here's the link. http://shannalarson-john627.blogspot.com/

ARTHUR MAY COME OUT NEXT WEEK!!!!! Ummm this is basically the greatest news of my LIFE, I miss him so much! It's one of those physical hurts... I can't wait to see him soon! So please pray that everything works out and I can find rides to the airport and back to get him and all that fun stuff! =) I miss him so much... it's so hard to be far away. No one else is worth this, and no one less would last. But he's worth this. It's good for us in the end. I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE HIM!!!

Ok. Well I've got to go. I love you all. Till next time!